Saturday, January 30, 2010

MIKOTO AND PETERPAN NO MONOGATARI Part. 5 (Fly Me To Neverland)

Mikoto was a girl who really hate her life. One night she dreamed about Peter Pan, her imaginary hero figure. Unexpectedly, the imaginary figure really came for real. Just in one night, she experienced many strange things. Peter Pan that really different with her imagination and her feeling about considered invincible by others became true! Mikoto was trapped inside her own dark mind that her existence was not important at all!

Just before Mikoto disappeared into the darkness, the phone rang and her three sisters gave her messages, they actually really cared about her. Suddenly everything back to normal for Mikoto, unless that Peter popped again. Peter taught Mikoto about the power of mind. It implied that the strange things happened to Mikoto were caused by her own negative thought.Peter then said that he came to the real world for considering about her wish. What are these all about???

The Story Goes On...

"Wait, so you come here for my wish?" asked Mikoto.

"Yep!" Peter answered in certainty. "That's why you were calling me, right?"


"What are you now? A genie of the bottle?" she chuckled in cynical. Mikoto was about to give more denial when suddenly she realized something, and that made her blushed. "Oh My God! No way!" Mikoto sighed. She turned her back facing Peter so she could conceal her flushed cheeks.

Peter might know Mikoto's self-denial that he suddenly sang. His voice was...hmm...unexpectedly quite good. Light and clear like the sound of the wind. But that was not the point made Mikoto blushed more.

Be my Peter Pan...
Take me fly away
to the dream sky...
My endless dre...

"E-enough!" cut Mikoto hurrily. Her face was totally red.

Peter giggled. He circled Mikoto around while humming the same tones. "Nice song anyway. I'm sooooo.... flaaaaaa...ttered!"

"How?" Mikoto sighed.

"How what?"

"How could you hear my singing?"

"Simply. You're the only one around here, sang so loudly in this middle of night."

Mikoto got speechless this time. Peter sighed they had been wasting much time in silent moments. "I only have time 'till the morning." Peter said. "You'd better think 'bout your wish quicker."


Mikoto stared at Peter. "You think you can make my wish comes true, huh?"

"Stop being cynical and just say it. We'll see the answer! Remember, only one wish!" said Peter in certainty.

Mikoto stared Peter again, but said nothing. What does she want? Human always have a bunch of wishes and hopes, but in the situation like this, why does her mind get blank? If the weird boy was really be able to grant her wish, so she must chose carefully, right? What wish is the most important for her?

Half an hour had passed. Peter seemed more impatient, but suddenly, before he decided to say good bye and jump out the window, Mikoto's voice broke the silence.

"I want to fly." she said with blank expression, as if she was dreaming in her sleep. "Take me away from here, to Neverland, or wherever, as long as I can get out from here."

Peter gazed her, "So...That's your wish?"

"Yeah. I want you make me fly, like you did to Wendy and her brothers." Mikoto repeated her wish.

Peter showed strange reaction as he heard 'Wendy' was mentioned. The atmosphere around them became awkward and Mikoto could feel Peter's restlessness.

"Hey, are you here?" called Mikoto.

Peter cleared his throat and floated toward her clumsily. Then, for the very first time, Mikoto saw Peter let his feet touched the floor. He jumped off his flying skateboard.

"Why do you want to fly to Neverland?" Peter changed the topic quickly.

"Because I want to!" answered Mikoto.

Peter rolled his jade eyes, "Yeah, but why? You've already have your own world here?"

Mikoto shook her head, "This is not the world I want. I hate this world! Suck! Crazy! Creepy! I hate the people! I hate the world that just make me feel invincible and worthless!"

Peter said nothing but held her hands and pulled her slowly to the window. "Okay, are sure you wanna do this?"

Mikoto looked at the scenery below her. She could only saw city lamps sparkled below. As if the sky was in her floor now. Her room was in the 20th floor. The coldness of the night wind froze her to the bone, she shivered. Mikoto returned Peter's question by nodding in certainty.

Peter walked to her back. "Once I grant your wish, you'll have no chance to regret." he whispered to Mikoto's ear. Mikoto trembled not because of the blowing cold wind, but there's something in Peter's voice. What are he going to plan now?

Peter blew Mikoto's neck. Mikoto shocked then turned to Peter. "WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!" she held her neck. Now she's trembling because of her anger.

"That's Fairy Dust. You need it to fly." Peter explained.

"Uh-uh..." Mikoto groaned.

"Well, first step has been passed. And now you..." Suddenly Peter pushed her to the open window. Mikoto lost her balance, felt the gravity pulled and pressed her body below. She slid down as fast as comet.

"!!!!!"

"Have a nice flight." Peter waved his hands innocently, watching Mikoto floating down to her death...

The last thing Mikoto could remember was Peter's evil grin...








This hasn't ended...YET!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

(Musashimaru) Dealing With...


Well, the theme of this picture maybe still related to the previous one, 'Self Crisis'. Both of them depict about teenagers' confusion in dealing with their self-crisis while looking for their identity. This one isn't as depressive as the previous one. More depicting about the contemplation. This guy is thinking about the most philosophical questions about himself, "Who am I? and What's the meaning of my existence". If you've ever read James Redfield's Celestine Prophecy and The Tenth Insight, there are explanations about how all people in the world are bringing their own messages to be shared with others. Unfortunately, many people don't realize about what kind of exact role they have to play in their life because they are lost themselves from the energy of universe.

In order to prevent disorientation in this life, it's really important to free ourselves just for a while from our usual daily activities, take time to stop, to silence and contemplate about what we have done and what we should do next in this earth. After that we can make our best plan to run our rest of life. This will make our life more meaningful. =D

This guy is Musashimaru one of the supporting characters of my HEARTBEAT manga (though this manga was never published and even have not been finished yet...phew...). I drew this chara when I was still in 1st grade high school. He has so gloomy look rarely to smile. and talk to his schoolmates. His appearance is really big, about 180 cm or more (he was too lazy to measure it regularly). No one know who started the rumor, Musashimaru was considered by a member of yakuza bacause of his mysterious behavior, cold expression, and the scar on his right eye. This makes most of his schoolmates keep away from him. But seems that he doesn't care at all. Nobody knows that actually he is... (hmm I guess I can reveal his true identity by the time I finished the manga... phew)

Monday, January 25, 2010

MIKOTO AND PETERPAN NO MONOGATARI Part. 4 (Mindtrick, Standing By Your Own)


Mikoto could do nothing but just seeing herself was becoming more and more transparent. Her eyes hit her reflection in the mirror, to find that her legs started fading. Not daring to see her real legs, she screamed in horror. She ran to Peter Pan and grabbed his clothes fiercely.

"Can't you do something about this?!" she demanded.

Peter Pan gave her an emotionless look then shook his head. "Nothing can I do about that. Besides, you've done this by yourself."

"WHAT?!" Mikoto grabbed the boy's clothes firmer. "This must be because of you! You...!"

Peter warded of her grab then floated away calmly. "Blaming...blaming...just blame others...Let see if it could work." he said coldly.

"SHUT UP!" Mikoto closed her ears with her, didn't want to hear more. She turned her head away.

Peter squatted still on his flying skateboard, "Hmm...Sorry girl. But the one could help you just you yourself..."

"How...?" Mikoto's body had faded 'till her stomach. That was the most horrible thing. She never thought she would be invincible for real! She didn't have any idea what to do now. But a slight of idea suddenly came to her mind. Maybe...maybe it is ok to let my body disappears? Maybe others will feel ok if I was never existed before... Moreover who will miss me so badly if I was never there? Who will cry if I lost? Nobody's care anyway... So, I don't care...

As she was thinking like that, the fading level increased rapidly. Now her fingers faded one by one.

"You!" cried Peter. "Are you stupid?! What the hell you think you're doing?!!"

Mikoto leaped up from his mind play. "I didn't do anything!"

"You dumb! Watch out your mind!" scolded Peter. For the first time Mikoto saw the boy's face was getting pale and paler.

"Don't act as if you really care about me!" snarled Mikoto.

Peter Pan growled and grabbed Mikoto's collar, but surprisingly his hand just slipped over it. No, it didn't slip, it penetrated! Peter raised his hands. Looked at them in disbelieve. His body got the same transparent condition as Mikoto's.

"Look what have you done to me?!"

Mikoto stared at him in horror. "B-but I did nothing to you?!"
"What have you done?!" Peter raised his fading hands in front of Mikoto's nose.

"I didn't do anything! Both to myself, moreover to you!" Mikoto warded off those hands from her eyes. Her own hand penetrated those transparent hands. As if their hands were made of gasses.

"You did do something to cause these happen!" Peter insisted.

"What?!" Mikoto snapped in frustration.

"Watch your mind!" said Peter Pan in the same panic level. "I've told you before. When people keep strong faith about something, their faith will come to real and vice versa!"

"I don't understand!"

"You don't want to understand!"

"Shut up!" Mikoto cried hysterically. "I want you disappear! Everything! Just vanish!"

Peter closed his eyes desperately. His full body faded and then disappeared. "This is the end..." he sighed before he finally gone. Now the darkness is everywhere, trapped Mikoto inside. Her room was slowly swallowed by the total hollow.

Mikoto rested her head on the floor. Waiting herself to be dragged by the darkness. Again...I'm all alone... She closed her eyes. A smile lied on her lips.

Rrrriiinngg... Rrriiing!! Suddenly there was a call. Mikoto didn't react. Someone must got the wrong number, she thought.

Rrriiiiiinnnggg!!! Rrrriiiiingggg!! The telephone across her bed cried louder and louder. Then it stopped. The red sign of it was twinkling while some voices talked to Mikoto. There were messages for her.

"Mikoto, are you there?" the first message came from a deep and husky voice. It was strange that a woman could have a voice like that. "I know you're angry." she sighed. "Well... sorry, Dude. There was terrible storm at the peak of Himalaya. The hiking must be delayed two days. Crap, ya' know." Silence for a moment. "At least you should be grateful, I haven't turned to a ghost yet I'm calling you now. Huff...I'm freezing." she chuckled.

Mikoto opened her eyes. Quite surprised. "Makoto?" she said in disbelieve. Makoto, her eldest sister rarely come home, even hardly ever phoned her because she was so busy with her adventures. So, she's in Himalaya now?

"Well, I gotta go now. Must run for the next flight. I'll scrap my ass to get there on time." There was a moment of silence again. "Well... maybe a bit longer than on time... I'm at the roof of the world you know?" she chuckled. "See ya. Don't hurt yourself, OK?" then the woman across, hung up the phone.

Then came out the second message. "Umm...Mikoto?" Mikoto almost couldn't hear it because the voice was so soft, almost like a whisper. However, Mikoto could directly guessed that it was Shirayuki, her other sister. "Ng...I'll be home soon." Then she hung up the phone. Shirayuki, she must lost her mind again, thought Mikoto.

The red sign still twinkled. A second later then, there came a new one, "Miko chaaaan, you still alive don't you?" this time it sounded like a cherry little girl with high pitch tone.

Mikoto raised. Turning her eyes to the phone across. "Yuina?"

Yuina was her youngest sister. The cherry girl gave her message in hurry. "Sorry sorry sorry. I'm totally forget. But I've prepared something for you. Just hang on there! I'll be back in no minute...Oh My God! The bus left me behind! Hhhheeeeeeeyyyyy! WAIT!" Then seemed that the girl left the phone-box without returning the phone to its proper place because Mikoto could hear someone growled, maybe an old lady, commented how impolite her sister was, then hang up the phone.

Mikoto rolled her eyes. Yuina.... careless as always. She won't change though Mikoto had told her millions times to grow up. A smile was formed on her lips while she was imagining how messy Yuina has just be.

"Feeling much better?"

"Awwwwwww!" Mikoto cried in shock. Peter Pan suddenly popped in front of her, stocked on his weird flying skateboard. Smirking as usual.

"I thought you've disappeared?!"

"A-a." Peter Pan shook his head. "Well... finally you know what the answer is."

Mikoto frowned. She really mad of the fact that she still had to stick with that weird boy. That was so tiring for her! She couldn't stand it anymore!

Peter Pan frowned confusedly, "Huh? I thought you've understood it? You aren't a fast thinker, are you?"

"WHAT?!"

"Here." Peter Pan touched Mikoto's forehead. "Deep inside, there hide the most powerful power of every single human being. Your mind." Peter moved his fingers to his head, "That's why I've told you to watch your mind. Sometimes when they were so strong, some minds will come to real. That explained what happened to you, to us. You thought you want to disappear because no one will consider..."

"You told me what?" cut Mikoto in disagreement. "All the things you said just weird things. You round about and blah!"

Peter gave her a tired look. "I've said you must understand it by yourself. It would be useless if I spoon-fed you!" Then he floated to the phone's side. "Fortunately for you, before everything was too late, your sisters called, paid you attention and showed you that you're wrong."

"But..." he paused, "doesn't it sound so pathetic to depend your existence on others' consideration?"

"Whatever!" Mikoto turned her face another side, "Why are you still here?"

"Huh?" Peter frowned. "I'm the one supposed to ask! You called me!"

"I called you?!"

Peter waved his hand. "Enough. Don't waste the time. I'm here for your wish. So just say it!"







SELF POTRAIT- The Girl in Self Crisis


This is also the artwork for my MIKOTO AND PETER PAN MONOGATARI. The drawing is to describe when she had to deal with her self crisis, in the chapter 3, when suddenly she almost disappeared for real. The concept actually came from the phase that must be experienced by every individual: teenage time. As we know that being a teenager is the hardest time. Teenager usually have more tendency to rebel, fight against the adult's domination especially if they are under too much pressure. They are stubborn and have high pride but actually those are only masks to hide their fragility. Oscillating in the middle child phase and maturity phase, this phase is really crucial. But once they could pass it well, everything will much easier for them.

The transparent hands around her, which make this drawing have a bit mystical  and absurd image, are the symbolization of all temptations our teenagers faced. Sex, drugs, violence, etc, we don't know how much teenagers are lost under their traps... When a teenager lost their orientation and take the wrong way, those  are most caused by environment factor. To be accepted in their social environment is very important for most teenagers, even being the first priority. Many teenagers will do anything just to be accepted even when they have to sacrifice their basic principal or other important thing like honesty and integrity. They will sooner find that it was ridiculous by the time they get mature. But at that time everything cannot be undone. Every people must bring influence or being influenced for people they interact with. Unfortunately not all friends are good friends... So, basically that is the philosophical point behind this drawing. =)

This is the drawing before being edited by adobe photoshop 7... Hoooh...







SELF POTRAIT- Daydream


I drew this for the illustration of my Mikoto and Peterpan no Monogatari. I imagined 'MIKOTO' as a girl who had a minor personality disorder. She was too afraid to go outside and would rather hide herself alone in her room. Yes, this is the symptom of hikikomori. Because she had nothing else to do then she creamed and created an imaginary figure called Peter Pan. Sometimes when her hatred to herself reached the peak, unconsciously she wounded herself by scratching herself by her own fingers or even knife! Therefore, I drew her with loosening bandages everywhere. I don't know why, but my mood was totally dark lately. Therefore I released it by writing that story.

This is the black/white picture before I edited by adobe. The idea was from one of  X Clamp's artwork. Kamui was also covered with bandages and also blood. I don't wanna to make my picture so dark that I decided no to draw the blood here... =)

MIKOTO AND PETERPAN NO MONOGATARI Part. 3

Mikoto frowned to the smirking boy. Those jade eyes were really bewitching.
Like a pair of emeralds on the snowfield.

"Hahaha! You're so dumbfolded!" the boy laughed in annoying manner. But his laughter sounded so clear, pure, and somehow innocently like kids'.

Mikoto blinked in angry, tried to think of some smart responds, but finally the only smartest thing she could spell from her mouth was only, "You, Pe-ter- Pan?"

Instead of answering the question, the boy start floating around Mikoto in slow motion.

Mikoto turned, following that floating boy.

"Impossible! You, Peter Pan?! But he is..."

"Unreal?" cut Peter Pan. He stopped floating. He rolled his eyes, seemed so bored to death. He threw a tired sight to Mikoto, "But now I'm here, Dude! What do you think?" Then he floated around again.

"Stop circling me!" Mikoto exclaimed. "I'm getting dizzy!"

The boy stopped moving around , but then he even floated back and forth, left and right while humming. It's just nearly the same, Dummy! Mikoto grumbled.

"Which is real, which is unreal, how is the way you decide it?"

"Huh?" Mikoto never expected such a question will come to her. "By the 5 senses of course." she answerd in certainty.

"So... if you can see it, smell it, hear it, taste it, and touch it..." the boy suddenly slid like a light, stopped before he hit Mikoto in the face.


" !!!"
*****
Though Peter Pan didn't hit her, but Mikoto's shock had scratched her chest deeply. The pain was like as if it was hit by a very sharp needle.

"The hell!" screamed Mikoto with a pale face. "So you come here just for killing me, aren't you?!" Mikoto soaked by her sweats. Her heart was not the strong one.

Peter Pan made a guilty expression on his innocent face. But Mikoto's sharp eyes could catch the laughter in those jade eyes.

"Aren't you frightened? Why? I didn't hit you for sure..." said Peter still in his fake innocent face.

Mikoto couldn't answer. She was too busy controlling her HEARTBEAT.

"Fear..." said Peter Pan while floating around Mikoto. He flew farther immediately before Mikoto's fist hit his waist.

"Fear... Is the weirdest thing in this world. Sometimes it just comes from your imaginary, but somehow it can be so real that is enough to kill you."
Peter Pan looked at Mikoto with unexpected serious expression. "When you afraid of something, it will just make your imaginary fear becomes real. Like a fool who died in scared because he thought he saw a ghost that obviously was only a white curtain blown by the wind. What do you think about that?

Mikoto rolled her eyes, he's gibbering again.

"I'm not just talking nothing!" exclaimed the boy.

"Huh? You can hear my mind?" asked Mikoto confused. My... He's crazy of course.

Again, as if the boy could hear her mind, he responded, "Ah yes! Crazy! You know...these guys like John Nash, Ian Flemming, they had sizo...sizo..."

"Schizophrenia!" cut Mikoto impatiently.

"People considered them as this..." the boy crossed his left point finger in front of his forehead. "...because they thought these people were unconscious with the real world, instead, they trapped in their fantasy, said that they could see what ordinary people couldn't see."

"And what is the point?" asked Mikoto in a bored tone.

Peter slowly floated closer to her in zig-zag movement. "Well...actually for the crazies, we're the mad one, coz we couldn't see what they could see. For them, we are the one living in the unreality. It's just a matter of different perception, I supposed to say." he laughed lightly.

"Who cares with their perception? They're mad. Just that." What Mikoto meant was for the crazies in general. Because yes, now the world of course, care those two guy's perception, since the one was the Nobel awarded and the other one was someone behind the number one espionage novel series.

"Uh-uh? How if you're the one living in unreality? How if all the things you know in this world, your friend, your family, you entire life are totally fake?" Peter gave her a smirk.

Mikoto laughed in skepticism, though a slight of discomfort feeling suddenly knocked on her chest. "I don't get it! I think somebody should repair your..." Mikoto circled her left point finger on her temple.

"Oh my, don't you always feel invincible?" Peter cornered her on the wall, stabbed her with his mischievous stare.

Again another feeling of discomfort scratch her chest. That really hit the perfect spot! How could that 'what-the-hell' weird boy know all about her feelings?!

"How to say it? A bunch of busy sisters, have no even one close friend, seems that you've been totally ignored, huh? You know... the more people ignore you, the more your existence will be..." Peter paused just to show her his devilish smile, "...questionable?" he continued sharply.

"Darn! You only talking rubbish!" cried Mikoto in anger, while her hands closed her ears tightly. Suddenly at the same time she felt her body became more and more transparent...for real! She hadn't realized it until she could see the smirking boy through her glass arms. Seconds later she heard a horrible scream passed through her throat.


tsuzuku

MIKOTO AND PETERPAN NO MONOGATARI (The Appearing) Part. 2

Mikoto stunned in front of her window. The star up there danced like a rocket, flew to her in unbelieveable speed.

"Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!"

Mikoto stepped back, raising her arms to protect her eyes, when the star hit her window and shattered into shimmering, shining, bright lights.

When Mikoto opened her eyes, white was the only thing she could see. She thought she had been blind already. But then slowly she could catch a silhoulette standing in front of her.

No...That figure wasn't standing in front of her, because her neck felt so stiffed. That someone or maybe something, was floating in front of her!

The white vision slowly disappeared, thus Mikoto could see clearer a floating boy in techno style, smirking at her. His blounde hair was like gold and a bit messy that the-miss-tiny-tidy-Mikoto wondered whether it ever been touched by a comb even just once. He wore all metalic black and dark green leather suits. His eyes covered by a dark glasses. Soo...Matrix wannabe...," thought Mikoto. He brought a medium-sized backpack that seemed made from metalic silver or maybe platina. He stood on a cool dark green skateboard sprouting something like a bright sparkling blue fire-gasses tail on its back, like those at the jet planes. That weird thing made him could fly.

"Who are you?!" snarled Mikoto after a few of silence moment had passed along.

That strange boy laughed roughly as if Mikoto had said a no-no question like were-you-coming-from-Mars?

"Who am I? How could you don't know who I am?!" He finished laughing, then float closer to Mikoto, cornered her on the wall. He put his dark glasses off, revealing a pair of exotic jade eyes. He bowed his head 'till their faces almost touched each other.

"I'm Peter. Peter Pan!"

tsuzuku

MIKOTO AND PETERPAN NO MONOGATARI (The Beginning)

Once upon a time there was a girl named Mikoto who really hated her life. She felt like a bird in a cage. The golden one. A part of her heart really wanted to BREAK OUT the cage, but another side of her, she was really scared because she heard that outer world could be really cruel.

She knew she was the pearl that wanted to show up her shimmering light to the world so badly. But the pearl stuck, in a sealed shell. She was in chain. The chain of her heart.

One night, beneath the twinkling stars, Mikoto's sight wandered through the open window. Out there the city light shone brightly as if the million stars have down to earth.

In her dream, she was waiting for someone. Someone that can take her go faraway from her place now... The someone was not a prince charming riding a white horse.

She hoped for someone who had wings. Maybe not wings...but Someone who could fly. Someone liked PETER PAN

That night she sang a song. A song of her desires. Beneath the night sky, she made a wish upon the star

"Be my Peter Pan...Take me fly away...to the dream sky...My endless dream...
 Come my Peter Pan...Bring me Neverland...Spell me miracle...Make my dreams come true..."

As she finished singing the song of her heart, she saw a strange tiny star danced hilariously. The dance was upside down like a crazy comet, and Mikoto swore that she was not dreaming.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

tsuzuku

My Two New Songs: BE MY PETER PAN and SONS OF NEVERLAND Have Been Released

Check the lyrics out


BE MY PETER PAN

Come My Peter Pan


Intro (Instrumental)



    Rapp (Makoto):
(You lift me up,
when everybody throw me out
You give me hope,
when I feel like a zombie
You say “don’t die!”
when I feel not really want to live
Though you might be real or maybe unreal?
For me, kimi ga iru yo
I just wanna say,
hontou ni doumo)

Reff:

Be my Peter Pan
Take me fly away
to the dream sky
my endless dream…

Come my Peter Pan
Bring me Neverland
Spell me miracle
Make my dreams come true

SONS OF NEVERLAND

My Neverland


Yes! We are the forsaken
Coz nobody understand  
Our sorrow our pain our wound  
Yet we will stay young  
Forever and after  
Coz we can dream we can hope we can fly  
Yes! We are the sons of Neverland!

  Living by the dream  
Flowing against the stream
That's the rule of our realm!

Let them listen
The cry of our heart
The song of our desires
The flame of our souls
We know the future is in our hands
  
They can hate us, deny us, reject us
But they will always be dragged upon our Neverland
Our body could be rotten underground
But our soul will never die

We will haunt them
All day long all night long
Coz yes, we are the sons of Neverland!

We are the conqueror of the time
The Lord of Radical Dreamers
Yes! We are the sons of Neverland!